Pandora's Box

"Quiet People Have The Loudest Minds" ~Stephen Hawking

It's Saturday morning and the house is quiet.  Part of the family has gone adventuring and the remaining are still savoring their weekend slumber. As usual, I am up, having packed food for the men and sending them off into the frigid darkness before pouring myself a cup of coffee and allowing the night's fog to part within my thoughts.

My. Thoughts.

It has been openly discussed that we are not safe when we are alone with our minds for too long, and yet I've found myself secluded in the early hours with a tornado brewing inside my head.

What will the coming days bring with the household growing by two members, the surgery drawing closer, the business that needs to be conducted within all of the upheaval, the clash of personalities and invasion of space...the cluttered existence?  Inevitably, the tar of wonder bubbles down into a sticky pool of heft leaving the core concern:

What about me?

We are all human, after all ~ selfishness exists in some capacity, somewhere in the reaches of our being. You can give until it hurts, and you can even get along the way, but they are not always balanced.

I will face it as I always have, I suppose...with an open heart and strong back...a little worse for the wear after a number of years, but still tough.  Despite small breakdowns like this one, I know that my purpose is solid and my presence needed ~ now to pluck the unstable pieces of my cognition from the storm, force them back into the box and lock it down until next time.